My new life in Portlandia......


Has been such a growing fun adventure and I can't wait for whats next....

So far I have been going to school, riding my bike every where and meeting amazing people!!!!  That's one thing I truely treasure about Portlandia- the people!  They are from near and far and not afraid to share their story usually.

One of my dear friend's I have met here, while going to school, is such an AMAZING person.  She inspires me in so many ways- to be free to be myself and encourages me jump out!  Her name is Valerie and we have gotten to know each other better through walking during class on our "lunch" breaks everyday.  She shares about her day and I share about mine.  The other day while  walking, Valerie shared with me this volunteering she does with trauma intervention every month.  I couldn't believe it, I was so touched by her genuine care for the hurting and love for people.  She shared about all the different traumas she has helped with, which amazed me so much.  She had no special alterier motives but just to help people.  
Before I moved back to Portland I was asking Papa for friends that would show me how to love and care, and I'm so thankful He has put her in my life.  She inspires me to love purely.  There's so many other stories I could share but that's just one of the many He continues to be faithful in my life!       

I have a dream to be lover.....  This week it has been constantly on my mind and heart to love so deeply that it woo's people to the lover of their souls.  I am learning and growing in this thought of loving deeply.  Sometimes my heart hurts soooo much for having an agenda with love.  There are so many things rushing though my mind I just have to get them out.  Well, this week I did a presentation on people who have down syndrome.  I don't have very much experience with them but one of the most beautiful things about them is they know how to love in such a powerful and free way.  I admire and want to be like them so much.   Sometimes I'm even afraid of what people will do if I love.
          To be a lover!!!! It's one of the most beautiful things.... we were created for!
I have been living with my parent for about 5 months now and it has been a lot of adjusting, crying, laughing, exploding, communicating, learning, and learning how to love.  I deffinetly don't have it down yet but have been growing so much.  For some reason this week something clicked inside of me with loving my parents and it's been the most freeing and amazing thing ever.  I love them with all my heart and I'm completely "in" with loving deeply.  It has definetly been a process but this week I have been undone by this beauty freely loving where someone is at in this journey.  The lover of my soul has loved me so deeply that sometimes I feel so undeserving of this deep love.  My lover also showed me that I can love people to love.  Not with any intentions or hiden agendas but just pure love.  Sometimes the most freeing thing  to do is love.  I have to confess that as a christian I have loved people out of duty, sacrifice, religion, rules, law, to make me look good and the list can go on and on.....and this makes me feel so sick and ugly inside.  Please forgive me I want to learn to love and see you for how amazing you are and to love you genuinely.